History of Sorts

Elon was no ordinary muskrat. Born in the wetlands of the Limpopo River, he had a mind sharper than a lion’s claws and an insatiable thirst for invention. Unlike his fellow muskrats, who were content gnawing on reeds and burrowing into the riverbanks, Elon dreamed of more—greatness, technology, and most importantly… domination.

One fateful day, Elon hitched a ride inside a shipping container full of South African biltong heading to the United States. After weeks at sea, he found himself in Houston, Texas—a land of opportunity, fast cars, and unlimited access to Wi-Fi (a muskrat’s dream).

The Rise of Elon

Elon quickly realized that Americans weren’t particularly familiar with muskrats. To them, he was just another rodent. So, he did what any ambitious South African muskrat would do—he reinvented himself. Using discarded tech parts from a junkyard, he fashioned a miniature robotic exoskeleton, giving himself the ability to walk upright, type, and even drive small vehicles.

His first order of business? Creating a fake identity. Within a week, he had forged documents under the name “Elon Tusk” and hacked into Wall Street, manipulating stock prices with an army of trained pigeons carrying USB drives. The economy trembled at his tiny, fur-covered paws.

Muskrat Mayhem

With his newfound wealth, Elon Tusk bought a failing social media company, renaming it X-Rat. His radical changes—like forcing users to communicate in squeaks and rewarding top influencers with cheese—drove the platform into total anarchy. He then set his sights on the automotive industry, launching Ratla, a self-driving electric car company. The cars were fast, efficient, and had a minor flaw: they occasionally mistook swimming pools for highways.

But Elon wasn’t done yet. He announced his boldest plan yet—BurrowLink, an underground tunnel network designed to replace traditional roads. The problem? It was designed for muskrats, not humans. Highways collapsed as enormous tunnels riddled the ground, turning major cities into Swiss cheese.

The U.S. government had enough.

The Great Muskrat Hunt

Authorities launched an operation called Mission: Tusk Down to capture the rogue muskrat. Elite agents were deployed, but Elon was always one step ahead. His latest creation—a tiny space capsule labeled “RattX”—was ready for launch.

As SWAT teams burst into his underground lair, Elon gave one final squeak:

“I’m not leaving the Earth… I’m leaving you behind.”

With that, the capsule blasted off into space, leaving behind a nation in ruins, a bankrupt economy, and thousands of confused tech investors.

Epilogue

Rumors persist that Elon Tusk is still out there, orbiting Earth, plotting his next move. Some say he’s building a space colony for muskrats on Mars. Others claim he hacked the moon.

One thing is certain—America will never forget the tiny, brilliant, and utterly chaotic South African muskrat that brought the world to its knees.

And somewhere, deep in the void of space, a little muskrat chuckles…

“This is just the beginning.”