History of Sorts

After someone who is close to you has died, some people will say that you have to get over it.

That advise is total nonsense. You don’t get over it. You deal with it and you move on after a certain time, but you don’t get over it. There is no need to do that, because if you get over it, it means you will, at some point, forget about that loved one, the memories will have faded away, the thoughts are gone.

Grieving is something very personal, no one but you can decide how you grief, and how long the process will take. There is no scientific parameter which will determine the duration of grieving, I wish there was, but there isn’t.

Grief is like physical pain, people often perceive this as something negative, but pain is merely a signal from your brain, telling you something is not right, grief is the same.

I am still grieving for all those I have lost, This doesn’t mean I am all gloom and doom, it means that I am still dealing with that loss in my own way. For me it is going to a mental vault where I have stored all the good memories, and sometimes I just open it up and let those memories run free. Mostly that makes me happy. However, to get a balans I sometimes look at the bad memories too. Because life isn’t always about good times, so neither should the memories be. The key though is not to dwell on it, and move on, and of you have to come back sometimes by all means do so.

Cherish all memories, thought and dreams, because those are the means how you communicate with the loved ones you lost. You talk to them and ask them the questions, of which you already know the answers to, but just to get that bit of verification.